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Rita Rudner Quotes and Quotations


I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and boughr jewelry.
- Rita Rudner | Companionship Quotes
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner | Companionship Quotes
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner | Peace Quotes
Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
- Rita Rudner | Births Quotes
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner | Births Quotes
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
- Rita Rudner | Family Quotes
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
- Rita Rudner | Health Quotes
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
- Rita Rudner | Love and Marriage Quotes
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.
- Rita Rudner | Love and Marriage Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Men and Women Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Men and Women Quotes
Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.
- Rita Rudner | Men and Women Quotes
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
- Rita Rudner | Money Quotes
Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.
Men in high levels of government seldom surf.
- Rita Rudner | Politics Quotes
Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.
All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
- Rita Rudner | Sex Quotes
Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.
- Rita Rudner | Sports Quotes
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
- Rita Rudner | Sports Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
- Rita Rudner | Humorous Quotes


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