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If you want to know how old a woman is . . . ask her sister-in-law.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Jesus is moved to happiness every time He sees that you appreciate what He has done for you. Grip His pierced hand and say to Him, "I thank Thee, Savior, because Thou hast died for me." Thank Him likewise for all the other blessings He has showered upon you from day to day. It brings joy to Jesus.
One religion is as true as another.
Happiness is composed of misfortunes avoided.
B.I.B.L.E. = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
We offer up prayers to God only because we have made Him after our own image. We treat Him like a Pasha, or a Sultan, who is capable of being exasperated and appeased.
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
I can stand what I know. It's what I don't know that frightens me.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
There is no wisdom equal to that which comes after the event.
As to posterity, I may ask what has it ever done to oblige me?
Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival.
Divorce is a game played by lawyers.
In prayer the lips ne'er act the winning part, without the sweet concurrence of the heart.
What you think is an illusion created by your glands, your emotions and, in the last analysis, by the content of your stomach. That gray matter you're so proud of is like a mirror in an amusement park which transmits to you nothing but distorted signals from reality forever beyond your grasp.
To live means to have ... a mission to fulfill-and in the measure in which we avoid setting our life to something, we make it empty.
From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.


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It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.
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