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Joan Rivers Quotes and Quotations
 We Can't Afford to Doubt Ourselves I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door-or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present. - Joan Rivers | Self-Confidence Quotes  I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material. - Joan Rivers | Self-Confidence Quotes Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty. - Joan Rivers | Birthdays and Age Quotes I hate Billings, Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck - no models. You open a catalog and point. - Joan Rivers | Cities and Travel Quotes Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late, and, thanks to television, you can shop in bed. - Joan Rivers | Cities and Travel Quotes I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers | Family Quotes I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers | Health Quotes He loves to eat - he puts mayonnaise on an aspirin. - Joan Rivers | Insults Quotes I take him to McDonald's just to watch him eat and see the numbers change. - Joan Rivers | Insults Quotes He has more chins than a Chinese phone book. - Joan Rivers | Looks Quotes It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up. - Joan Rivers | Sex Quotes 
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