Groucho Marx Quotes and Quotations
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
There is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says 'yes', you know he is crooked.
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
Since my little daughter is only half Jewish, would it be alright if she went into the pool only up to her waist?
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.
It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
When I first came to this country, I didn't have a nickel in my pocket - now I have a nickel in my pocket.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
I've had a wonderful evening . . . but this wasn't it.