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Marriage Quotes and Quotations
 I'm an extinct volcano.  A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. A rich widow weeps with one eye and signals with the other. A wise woman will always let her husband have her way. Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5,000 Gideon Bibles. In my conscience I believe the baggage loves me, for she never speaks well of me herself, nor suffers anybody else to rail at me. It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. Married women are kept women, and they are beginning to find it out. Modern American marriage is like a wire fence. The woman's the wire -the posts are the husband's. The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives. The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife was wrong. There is nothing like living together for blinding people to each other. There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife? Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing. - Bible Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. As a general thing, people marry most happily with their own kind. The trouble lies in the fact that people usually marry at an age when they do not really know what their own kind is. Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. Marriage is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise longue. A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude. Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky. Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife; he is always proud of himself as the source of it. Pains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That's what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex. Marriage: a job. Happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with it. A wife encourages her husband's egoism in order to exercise her own. A man and a woman marry because both of them don't know what to do with themselves. Marriage is neither heaven nor hell; it is simply purgatory. Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant, of a teacher and a learner. Marriage is one long conversation checkered by disputes. Husband and wife come to look alike at last. There is a radicalism in all getting, and a conservatism in all keeping. Lovemaking is radical, while marriage is conservative. The young man who wants to marry happily should pick out a good mother and marry one of her daughters - any one will do. His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage. If thee marries for money, thee surely will earn it. Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other, to let her have it. Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour. A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one's husband, but how seldom married people in the midst of life achieve it. Marriages would in general be as happy, and often more so, if they were all made by the Lord Chancellor. No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married. Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures. An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as if she weren't. No labourer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and love -except the housewife. What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife. A husband always prefers his wife's mother-in-law to his own. Woe to the house where the hen crows and the rooster keeps still. Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking. Seldom, or perhaps never, does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly and without crises; there is no coming to consciousness without pain. I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. Let there be spaces in your togetherness. Any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting and significant than any romance, however passionate. One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. Polygamy: an endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it. Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making, in all, two. Marriage is a great institution, and no family should be without it. Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not. Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. I married beneath me - all women do. One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. A good husband should always bore his wife. There isn't a wife in the world who has not taken the exact measure of her husband, weighed him and settled him in her own mind, and knows him as well as if she had ordered him after designs and specifications of her own. A woman is not a whole woman without the experience of marriage. In the case of a bad marriage, you win if you lose. Of the two alternatives - bad marriage or none - I believe bad marriage would be better. It is a bitter experience and a high price to pay for fulfillment, but it is the better alternative. Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter. It is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves. He that hath a wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief. A man finds himself seven years older the day after his marriage. A woman must be a genius to create a good husband. With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. - Bible Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure, Marry'd in hast, we may repent at leisure. A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple. To marry once is a duty, twice a folly, thrice is madness. There is a French saying: "Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love." - De Finod It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. Every woman should marry - and no man. Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in. Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage; and half shut afterward. It is not good that the man should be alone. - Bible Bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. - Bible Weeping bride, laughing wife; laughing bride, weeping wife. Matrimony, - the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. Marriage is something you have to give your whole mind to. Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there. What therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder. - Matthew Something old, something new, Something borrowed, something blue. If thou wouldst marry wisely, marry thine equal. - Ovid The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward. A prudent wife is from the Lord. - Bible Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty, and women their happiness. - Bible Men are April when they woo, December when they wed; maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women. Marriages are made in Heaven. Remember, it is as easy to marry a rich woman as a poor woman. Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree. Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious: both are disappointed. 
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