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Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
(1927 - 1996)
American humorist.
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Erma Bombeck Quotes and Quotations

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
- Erma Bombeck | Other Side Quotes
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
- Erma Bombeck | Friendship Quotes
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
- Erma Bombeck | Friendship Quotes
I am not a glutton-I am an explorer of food.
- Erma Bombeck | Self-Knowledge Quotes
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
- Erma Bombeck | Self-Control Quotes
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
- Erma Bombeck | Courage Quotes
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course, I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in.
- Erma Bombeck | Women's Movement Quotes
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
- Erma Bombeck | Commitment Quotes
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck | Companionship Quotes
But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
- Erma Bombeck | Lighten up Quotes
One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.
- Erma Bombeck | Cities and Travel Quotes
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put "I love Mom" on the license plate.
- Erma Bombeck | Family Quotes
I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
- Erma Bombeck | Family Quotes
Never lend your car to someone you've given birth to.
- Erma Bombeck | Family Quotes
I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
- Erma Bombeck | Health Quotes
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
- Erma Bombeck | Men and Women Quotes
My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive," . . . and hangs up.

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