Melvin Helitzer Quotes and Quotations
I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm, talent, and wit. Unfortunately, he couldn't be here tonight, so instead . . .
I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.
Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.
When asked to contribute ten dollars to a lawyer's funeral, I said: "Here's fifty. Bury five of them."
One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today, but you will be a great deal older.