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Elmer Pasta Quotes and Quotations

She claims she just turned thirty, but it must have been a U-turn!

- Elmer Pasta | Birthdays and Age Quotes

He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.

- Elmer Pasta | Birthdays and Age Quotes

For him, any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.

- Elmer Pasta | Eat, Drink, and Be Merry Quotes

Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.

- Elmer Pasta | Eat, Drink, and Be Merry Quotes

Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.

- Elmer Pasta | Friendship Quotes

She is such a health food nut, she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.

- Elmer Pasta | Health Quotes

The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."

- Elmer Pasta | Insults Quotes

You can easily tell he's a newlywed, because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.

- Elmer Pasta | Love and Marriage Quotes

He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it.

- Elmer Pasta | Success Quotes