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Elmer Pasta Quotes and Quotations


She claims she just turned thirty, but it must have been a U-turn!
- Elmer Pasta | Birthdays and Age Quotes
He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.
- Elmer Pasta | Birthdays and Age Quotes
For him, any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.
Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.
Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.
- Elmer Pasta | Friendship Quotes
She is such a health food nut, she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.
- Elmer Pasta | Health Quotes
The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."
- Elmer Pasta | Insults Quotes
You can easily tell he's a newlywed, because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.
- Elmer Pasta | Love and Marriage Quotes
He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it.
- Elmer Pasta | Success Quotes


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We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
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