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Wit Quotes and Quotations

If it's me against 48, I feel sorry for the 48.
If the camel once gets his nose in a tent, his body will soon follow.
If you laid every economist in the country end to end you would still not reach a conclusion.
Irrevocable as a haircut.
Men never think their fortunes too great, nor their wit too little.
The banalities of a great man pass for wit.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Too caustic? To hell with cost; we'll make the picture anyhow. Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg. We have all passed a lot of water since then.
When I appear in public people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground and swish my tail - none of which is easy.
Wit consists in knowing the resemblance of things which differ and the difference of things which are alike.
Melancholy men are of all others the most witty.
If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.
The well of true wit is truth itself.
A brilliant epigram is a solemn platitude gone to a masquerade ball.
What is perfectly true is perfectly witty.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
True wit is Nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd.
A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.
Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.
Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.
What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole, Its body brevity, and wit its soul.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Belief in form, but disbelief in content - that's what makes an aphorism charming.
At their wits' end.
Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.
Avoid witticisms at the expense of Others.
True wit is nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.
Great men may jest with saints; 'tis wit in them; But, in the less foul profanation.

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I think and think for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
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