Josh Billings Quotes and Quotations
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist - it reduces him to his fighting weight. When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got. As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. Nature never makes any blunders; when she makes a fool she means it. Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'. Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot. The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so. The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are. My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder. To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his estimation, and yours too. It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too. When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime. As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog. If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her nose all the time. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich. Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing. If it wasn't for faith, there would be no living in this world; we couldn't even eat hash with any safety. Faith is the soul riding at anchor. It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient, too. Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into. Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into. There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen. It is the little things that fret and worry us; you can dodge an elephant, but not a fly. Be like a postage stamp-stick to one thing until you get there. It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall, but to lie there and grunt is. Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you do hold well. Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. Love looks through a telescope; envy through a microscope. A dog Is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
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